March 15, 2017
No ur a poo ha ha ha
Did you laugh out loud or, at least, smile? Great. Mission accomplished!
Do you have a joke or something funny that you would like to share? If your joke is used on my blog, I will be glad to send you a thank you.
March 16, 2017
March 17, 2017
16 Mathematicians In A Bar
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first asks for a beer. The second asks for half a beer. The third asks for a quarter beer. The fourth begins to order an eighth of a beer but the bartender cuts him off:
“You’re all idiots.”
He pours two beers and goes to help other customers.
I giggled. Did you? 😛
Have a splendid day,
March 18, 2017
Sorry for just now getting this joke up for today. I will be better. 🙂
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
March 19, 2017
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome.
He mentioned the trip to his barber who responded…
“Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?
It’s crowded and dirty and full of Italians.
You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”
“We’re taking American Airlines,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”
“American Airlines?” exclaimed the barber.
“That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they’re always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?”
“We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott.”
“That dump? That’s the worst hotel in the city.
The rooms are small, the service is surly and they’re overpriced.
So, whatcha doing when you get there?”
“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.”
“That’s rich,” laughed the barber. “You and a million other people trying to see him.
He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”
A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut.
The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.
“It was wonderful,” explained the man, “not only were we on time in one of American Airlines s brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class.
The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28-year-old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel — it was great! They’d just finished a $25 million remodelling job, and now it’s the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!”
“Well,” muttered the barber, “I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”
“Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand!
I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.”
“Really?” asked the barber. “What’d he say?”
He said, “Where’d you get the crappy haircut?”
Cute, cute! Hope you smiled. 🙂
There are so many jokes out there. As we all know, some of them are not so funny. I’ll be sure to only pick out the ones that bring a smile to my face or a giggle or a loud belly laugh…
Do we have a similar sense of humor?
Smile…it’s the start of a new work week…”make it a great day or not, the choice is yours”!
March 21, 2017
Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, he will surely die. Each morning fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal. For dinner, prepare an especially nice meal. No chores. No nagging. And, oh, be prepared to make love several times a week. Do this for the next year, and he’ll regain his health completely.
husband: What did the doctor say?
wife: You’re going to die.